So - last Tuesday, I finally launched this website here, as the supposed to be the next stage in this metamorphosis journey that’s been private for so long. And now, its public, and it felt good for a few days, still does really. But the next step is to…keep going? Yup, keep going.
And that’s the part of this journey that I keep coming back to. For the last 3 years, pretty intensely, I've been living, and growing and finding new frontiers and sustaining the will to keep choosing to meet each version of myself openly. And sometimes man, its hard to see the next step, next evolution, as the gift it is. There’s a line in bell hooks, Sisters of The Yam, that stood out to me when I first skimmed through, something about ‘sustaining the will to be well’, especially as a part of the healing journey. Celebrating growth is fuun, Big Fun. Sustaining and building on growth, especially for so long, after so long, little less fun.
So that’s the part I’ve been working on - maintaining momentum. Celebrating the wins as the external fruit to feed on for the next leg of this journey. And finding the breath to take any next step forward to keep the wins going forward. Sustaining in this instance means committing to a weekly practice of saying something, anything, out loud. To you, from me, as a a promise to keep going. To me, from me, an accountability and answered trust in myself to sustain the will to be well. So, on Tuesdays, we blog.
Next up - starting over at the end of the world.
On the plus sides- I’ve started DJ'ing - about a year since my first gig, and 2 months since I’ve been DJ’ing more consistently, and I got an upgraded controller today. In a time like now, where I’m restarting so much, it feels counterintuitive to deliberately put myself back in the beginners seat. But this one has a nice beat, so I don’t mind.
